25 April 2024

When Heirs Collide

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Battles over estates can exacerbate tensions among siblings and tear families apart. But there are ways to significantly lessen the chances that your heirs will battle one another. Doing the right kind of advance planning can help avoid conflict. That includes consulting with your heirs or getting your property appraised to ensure that the items you bequeath are appropriately valued. Also, make sure you choose your executor wisely.

Roughly 70% of families lose a chunk of their inherited wealth, mostly due to estate battles, according to research conducted over two decades by the Williams Group, firm that helps families avoid such conflicts. The fights aren't always about the money, either. It isn't uncommon for people to spend more money on legal fees battling siblings or other family members than they stand to inherit.

Here are some pointers for families to consider when devising an estate plan.

Beyond Dollars and Cents 

Estate planners and other experts advise clients to think at least as much about the nonfinancial aspects of dividing their property among children and other heirs as they do about minimizing taxes.

A good place to start is deciding on what "fair" means within the context of your family. A parent might decide to leave a larger inheritance to an adult child who struggles financially and less money to a child who has struck it rich on her own. A sick or disabled child might need to inherit cash for long-term care but wouldn't find much use out of a family vacation home.

Conversely, a parent might be reluctant to leave money outright to a troubled or estranged child or believe they had given a child enough money while alive to justify leaving nothing else to him in a will.

How to Prevent Fights 

Communicating your wishes for who gets your personal property and assets after you die and making them explicit in your will are usually the best way to prevent a family feud, experts say.

First, make a list of your assets, including bank and brokerage accounts, retirement savings and life insurance—and note who you have named as the beneficiaries of those assets. Then add homes, big-ticket property such as artwork, furniture, jewelry or expensive clothing and family heirlooms, and consider who you want to inherit those items.

If a daughter is the beneficiary on a brokerage or retirement account, giving a home or artwork of similar dollar value to a son can help balance things out between them.

Experts say it's worth it to ask family members for their input. You might have assumed your daughter wants the Steinway baby-grand piano when she doesn't, or you might have thought nothing about a worthless box of old holiday decorations while all three of your children are jockeying to claim it for themselves.

Getting family input also gives you the chance to explain your reasons for arranging lopsided inheritances while you are still alive and can benefit from whatever parental authority you still have.

Consistency is important. If one in-law is allowed into the decision-making circle, all of them should be, otherwise resentment between siblings can brew. Listening only to the most vocal child and ignoring the rest, or being unclear about how and why a certain decision was made regarding money or property also can breed mistrust.

Alternative Approaches 

There are also some maneuvers you can make to even the financial score among heirs.

Rather than itemizing who gets what in your will, a simple way of dividing things up equally is to get your property and possessions appraised and then have the children or grandchildren take turns choosing what they want while you are still alive.

Conversely, you can set things up to allow family members to bid on a coveted property after your death.

Life-insurance proceeds can also be used to compensate one heir for getting less real property than another.

Choosing a Referee 

The person you designate to distribute your assets and belongings after your death is a key consideration—one that people often don't think through. Often, the oldest child gets named executor by default, or two adult children get named co-executors. Both situations can be a mistake if there are smoldering sibling resentments.

It’s generally best to appoint a family member or trusted outsider who isn't a beneficiary of the estate. That person can get paid by the estate for his or her time in organizing papers and distributing the assets, and can be a coolheaded referee for any inheritance disputes.

Making your intentions known directly to your would-be heirs can also clear the air ahead of time so they won't erupt into internecine conflict after you're gone—particularly in the tricky situation where one child isn't going to get much money, if any.

Some people put a clause in their will that says an heir who tries to contest it will get nothing. So-called no-contest phrases only work well, however, when the heir in question has enough of a reason not to fight it.

You should also detail in the will the reason why someone is getting substantially less than others, or nothing at all.  A child can be left out of a will as long as the decision is intentional and made by someone of sound mind without being influenced by someone else.

Click here to access full article on The Wall Street Journal. 

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